I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
MIDGETS
????
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
