she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
