I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
