Welp...herpes.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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