i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
