I will die if light touches me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
