she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
