dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize