Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
