Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
