8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
