Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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