im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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