I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize