So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize