the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
