life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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