I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
