Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
