We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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