i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
