In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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