Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
