that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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