My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
