Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
