So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
