I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
