does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
