Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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