btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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