It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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