who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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