Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
