I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
