she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
