I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was confusing and full of hummus
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
