whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
