I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
