That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who died my cat blue again?
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
