Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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