if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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