Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
