Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
