Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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