what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
