she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
