Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
