conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
