i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize