We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
