Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
