you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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