She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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