I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
