"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
splinters make it hard to masturbate
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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