Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Randomize
