i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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