Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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