I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
