Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
